[Above: from Sash and Dee's wedding: September 2004. At Left: Mike at Penn circa 1987. From Roberta. At Right... the Goldthwaites, Rocks, and Youngs in NH 2004. Just 3 years ago. I was preggers with Baxter.]
So...FedEx is on its way with passport on board the truck to... my house in...New Jersey.
And I'm currently in New Hampshire
As Liz used to say, "f*ck a duck! "
But, thanks to Susan Murphy, who spent time on the phone with FedEx… I think I might STILL be able to go to freaking france. She arranged for the package to be left at my house with no signature. She's going to pick it up now and have it overnighted UPS to my parents house in Hebron, NH. Still leaving me about 24 hours to spare.
In the meantime, I woke up this morning in the middle of the most amazing dream about mike. I've only had like 2 vivid dreams of healthy mike since his death. This was the best.
I was leaving a baseball game or a show or something ... and I was standing outside some room that looked like a coat check. I think it was the coat check at the Mask and Wig club, where Heather and Matt got married. I peeked in the room and behind a couple of people there was Mike.
Content, arms folded in front of him. Navy windbreaker draped over his arm, wearing his olive green button down shirt - sleeves rolled up. Watch on his wrist. With his lil' brown structure vest on. Khakis and wingtip shoes. He even had on his leather fanny pack - ahem... man-purse. It was Mike circa 2001, for sure.
He gave me a little smile and did a little Mike wave and tucked his hair behind his ear. It reminded me of how he would greet Jen Childs after an 1812 show out in the lobby of the Adrienne.
We hugged and smooshed sooo hard. I could feel him in my arms. I just squeezed and squeezed. He didn't know he'd been gone. I barely spoke to him. But he looked right in my eyes. Then, we stopped hugging and Kevin came in. They joked and "shanked" each other in the gut - a fake stabbing gesture that they did to each other for years. Kevin put mike in a headlock and Mike pretended to punch him in the gut - at which point Kevin faked an enormous injury. Mike was laughing so hard. His eyes sparkled and his head was thrown back.
Then I woke up. I spent the next half hour trying to go back there again.
I love you so much, Mike.