The first thing bax says to me this morning...

I pick him up out of the crib in his lil' footie pajamas:

"Is Daddy here?" he says, pointing towards the door to his bedroom.

"What, honey?"

"Is Daddy here at my house?"

"No, Baxter. He's on the moon."

"No. Daddy's here. Daddy's coming."

"What do you mean, Baxter?"

And then he said something about Poppy (my dad). Like Poppy told him Daddy was coming. I wonder if he had been dreaming. He had woken up briefly about 45 minutes before he really woke up for the day, so maybe he was sleeping lightly enough to vividly recall the contents of his dreams.

Who the f*ck knows.

But man, is he cute, and man does it destroy me when he says things like that.

Ok -- off to work for the day.


Dina said...

I was thinking about you and Bax a lot yesterday. Owen's 19 months old, and he's used to his daddy getting him up from his nap (he's at home working during the week while I am teaching.) When I went in to get him out of the crib yesterday he looked at me, puzzled, and said, "DA? DA?" like, "Where the hell is my DAD?" I started thinking about the fact that people may have said things to you or thought to themselves that it's a good thing that Baxter was so little when he lost his dad. Few of us seem to remember anything that happens to us before age 3, right? And even then, it's blurry for most until school begins and experiences are more intense. But as moms of just turned 2 and almost turning 2 boys we know that their memories seem to already be pretty damn good. At what point in their lives would they be erased? Would they just wake up one day and completely forget their dads, even if they don't see them in person for a long time? Anyway, sorry for going on and on. I know that you are always going to make sure that Baxter remembers Mike. But I also think that there's a part of his heart that is remembering for him too. Another day down, amazing person and great mom. Happy F#cking Monday.

csm said...

I like the fact that Baxter thinks about Mike... and now that he is starting to communicate more, it'll be interesting to see how he continues to voice his thoughts...

the other nite when i was feeding him dinner, he kept looking up at the fridge and smiling at mike's picture. it was obvious what he was doing too... cuz he did it a couple of times -- in between bites... like he was "having dinner" with mike. he even waved his macaroni at him.

bax is a smart, smart kid... and i imagine he'll ask lots more Qs about Da-da... just follow your instinct re: how to respond... it's worked well for you thus far... and it's obviously working well for Bax.