Saturday, August 12, 2006 - 10:30 pm

I spent most of the day today enjoying the entertaining antics of my beautiful son. After a long nap this afternoon, I packed up Bax and his toys to head into the city to visit Curtis and Matt. As I merged onto 70 West to head over the Ben Franklin Bridge I realized that I hadn't done this drive in a while - but that I used to do it every day. Going around that big curve before merging with traffic was usually when I took a deep breath and got myself geared up for whatever the day would hold with Michael. Today as I got on the highway, I thought that Bax might make a similar connection - that he would remember that this is how we used to go to visit daddy on the weekends. But then I was like, "that's nuts. He's not even 2 years old. He has no idea."

But then, as we passed through the EZ Pass toll lane at the booths just before the bridge, Baxter sat right up straight in the car seat, hoisted himself up a bit to look out the window and let out a string of squeals followed by, "Yay! Daddy! Go see Daddy! Daddy? Daddy. Go see Daddy."

I ignored it. I didn't know what else to do.

But after about a minute, I couldn't listen anymore.

"No, Baxter. Remember? We're going to play at Matty and Curtis' house. Matty and Curtis."

"Yeah," he said a bit calmer, "Matt-my and Cuh-kis."



Heide said...


That is amazing Baxter remembered his trips to the hospital to see his father by going thru the toll booth. Most of us don't remember much before we are 6 years old. Daniel and I have a feeling Baxter might be an exception to the rule and carry memories of his Daddy as he grows up.


Lisa said...

I know it's hard Dana. For 2 years after my ex left my son remembered the house we lived in. Now he doesn't say anything about it as we pass it, which is often. I wish you the best through these hard times. Please keep us updated on you.