4.10.2006

Our poor poor nurse

Yes, the only thing worse than a disagreeable patient is a patient whose friends and advocates are comedians. Yesterday, we had a wonderful male nurse named Christian who had a great sense of humor. Good thing:
*********
Sunday AM
Christian: Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Christian.
Susan: I'm Jewish. Ha!
********
Sunday noon
[Christian has told us that Mike's sodium is high and we need to push fluids. At lunch I bring Mike a snack of... potato chips. ]
Christian: Um... Mike, I'm sorry, but with your high sodium, potato chips aren't the best idea.
Mike: Ok.
Danna: Way to be a total buzz-kill, Christian.
********
Sunday afternoon
[Christian spots vases of flowers over on the windowsill]
Christian: Again, I'm sorry to say, but you're going to have to take these flower home. We want to avoid bringing bugs into the NICU.
Danna: No no... I totally understand. The last thing we need right now is for Mike to get aphids.
Kevin: Cause then we'd have to bring in ladybugs to get the aphids.
Bobbi: And then we'd need praying mantises to eat the ladybugs....
********
Sunday evening
Christian: Are you still pushing the fluids to bring down his sodium? Lots of water?
Danna: Yes.
Christian: Ok. Good.
Danna: Salt water. That's ok, right? Really salty salt water? And a salt lick snack.

7 comments:

Don said...

Kevin and his continuing aphid humor...

Anonymous said...

ummmm... praying mantises don't eat ladybugs. in fact, ladybugs are not very tasty. apparently they give off foul tasting chemicals from their arms and legs. maybe we can feed them hospital food -- that might do the trick.

Michael L. said...

Not sure we should be giving all this publicity to the tumor. The tumor is the VILLAIN of this story! Mike is the HERO.

Peter said...

I assume someone is standing over him making him drink water, right? If not, I volunteer for Thursday. If Dr. Andrews wants Mike bloated, then bloated he shall be.

Dritsas said...

If you water Mike that much, does this mean Mike's going to grow taller? Oh, and don't put too much MiracleGro(TM) in the water. He'll look bigger at first but he'll just wind up getting leggy.

elvie said...

You better hope they don't retaliate by sending in Dr. Patch Adams...

Anonymous said...

Don't knock em till you try em, aphids that is. They could be just what Mike needs. Repressed aphids just waiting for their chance to shine! No more being kicked around by ladybugs and underpaid undocumented workers with chemicals in their hands and a dream in their heart. All they need is one craniopharyngioma, someone to believe in them, and liability insurance at a reasonable rate...